Ten Books You Shouldn't Read

I took some time to compile a list of ten books that you should really avoid reading. I read all of these books, but then, I am a bookworm. So for those of you who have a life and other hobbies, I will spare you the pain of reading these ten books. A link to the plot summary will be embedded randomly under each title. 

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1. I Am Malala: 

This is a memoir by a sixteen years old. So basically, you are reading Diary of A Wimpy Kid without illustration. Malala is really a privileged Afghani girl who was able to escape before she is even allowed to drive. She grew up with a family of educators in a school, if you want to talk about lost rights and hard life then come take a look at the Afghani kids in the streets selling towels because if they don't meet the day's quota, they will be beaten up to a pulp. For Malala to talk about political issues is as ridiculous as Ivanka Trump pitching in with her ideas in the G20 summit. The only difference is, Malala is different and she got shot in the face, so we have to like her and appreciate what she has to say or we would be labeled insensitive racists. 

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2. Duma Key: 

Let me start by saying this is not really a bad book. Then, whey did it make the list? Well, why does any book make the list? Because I am the creator of this blog and I get to choose what goes here and what doesn’t! Also Duma Key is as good as any other Stephen Kingpost-accident book. It is a repetition of the basic plot for most of his books to come. The accident in reference is the one King had in 2000. It was a tragic accident for him and for us readers, his writing skills were off to say the least, afterword. In fact, there is a full scene where King repeats the details of his accident in Duma Key but with a dog getting hit rather than a man. Thus, any book written post 2000 by King is possibly another whining memoir by King. The most common scenario is a character faces life changing event, said character is introduced to a supernatural world/existence/window and after each episode of “supernaturalness”, the character is hungry for meat and eats like a pig. Let’s not forget the catchy phrases or nonsense words that gets thrown in and continues to on throughout the book. Of course, he gets away with all that and his books still makes best sellers because this is the man who wrote It and The Dreamcatcher.

3. The Divergent Trilogy: 

I know I already wrote a long post about it, however, this particular trilogy is so bad it had to be on the list of Do Not Read Books! Yes people, they actually made three of those trashy books. This is because Divergent is actually a Chinese copy of The Hunger Games. I know that there is a huge argument saying that Divergent is not based off The Hunger Games, and my response to that is, “We heard it all before China, so spare us the lies!”

There is your basic 16 years old plain girl experiencing a life changing event on the first chapter of the book. By the way, this girl is striking when makeup and some costumes are thrown on her making her appeal to all boys which then leads her to become a political icon. Your basic, the world is divided to divisions/districts/factions with each group owning some resource causing political tension. The training for whatever purpose, but a training nonetheless that prepares her for the ultimate fight. Family loss and love relationships are a must in such books so I am not even going to comment on those similarities. 

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4. The Twilight Frilogy: 

I was thrown off by the four books, the author was making so much money from writing pedophile-stalker-Botox abuser’s diary that she couldn’t stop at three books. I am not sure what a set of four books would be called, so I invented the Frilogy term hoping that it would catch on (do not get carried away, it is actually called a collection not a quartet or quintet). The books defy all normal expectations we have of vampires and humans. Apparently, this is a world where humans watch each other breath, eat and act human in general as Bella (the main character) was reminded to act like a human once she becomes a vampire. Humans in this book lose their olfactory senses because Bella is the only human who can smell blood. They also don’t seem to have stalkers or pedophiles because Edward’s (the vampire love boy) is considered a loving and caring gentleman when he stalks the girl he loves, sneaks into her room at night to watch her sleep and is 100 years old. Also, when you turn to a vampire, you suffer from severe dementia and your IQ is degraded notably. She had to be reminded that people breathe. On the other Hand, vampires do not always drink human blood, it is more of preference and they have flavors! In fact, they have no problem with blood unless it is a papercut in a birthday party! Also, those creepy vampires shine under sunlight. Yeah, you read that right Dracula, they shine like diamonds. In fact, Edward’s plan to reveal vampires in one of those books was to come out in a sunny day. I am not sure why would that lead people to run around screaming “Oh Vampires aaaah”, I would’ve thought that this is one rich gay dude! I mean, I have been to the United States before, and I tell you, there are some weird people there. For an entire year, I watched a dude wear a gorilla costume and ride a bike around the college campus. My first thought was not that he was a supernatural being. My first thought  (and I stopped thinking about him after that one thought) was that he was just weird. If I see a man reflecting light and shining in daylight, my first thought would definitely not be, “Oh look a vampire!” 

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5. The Harry Potter Collection: 

J.K Rowling is famous for her Harry Potter books. She came up with the idea while on the train and worked on it for seven years until she came up with the first book in 1997. She wrote seven books within ten years and made a fortune. Rowling was so poor that she was on welfare but her books, not only saved her from poverty, but earned her the title of the first billionaire! Gold-diggers, be aware, she donated a huge chunk of her fortune to charity and is no longer the first billionaire. Her fame and wealth, however, got many people thinking; I can do that and be as rich as she is! Now we are plagued with Coronavirus, Twilight, Divergent, and Fifty Shades of Grey! And I have to blog about all of these (not Fifty Shades of Grey though, it is porn, bad porn from what I heard too!) I hate to disappoint all of you, but they made a fortune that made them richer than  you and I combined! As we don’t need more stupid books with fragile plots and nonsense love stories, please refrain from reading those books and writing!

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6. Playing for Pizza: 

John Grisham is famous for writing complicated and well researched and detailed stories. This is the man that wrote A Time To Kill so when decides to write a story about American Football, prepare for an extensive lesson on American Football. I don't care for a game that binds a limb with an object, then forbids said limb from touching said object. So, I kept reading with the hope that Grisham would reach the pizza part and talk about actual pizza. However, almost at the end of the book, I remembered that I hated pizza too, so there was not point of reading the book anyway. If you are going to ask me why did I buy the book then, I didn't I got it for free and as a bookworm felt the urge to read every book in my bookcase!

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7. Crime and Punishment: 

This is quite a read, it is hefty book with some big life lessons that everyone should learn, Karma gets you eventually! It teaches you that the crimes you commit, small or big, are the real punishment for try to avoid, committing a crime in itself is daunting to your soul. The book is actually good and lengthy, my type of books. But, what I come to notice is that people who read this book (or any book by Dostoevsky) tend to think they are the elite of society. They start pitching in their political, cultural, social, medical and literature opinions as if they were experts in everything! They start reading more books that are deemed “sophisticated” and you end up with wordy but empty opinions being thrown at you every time you want to go out. The world became a hideous place and you try to commit suicide but you fail. You have to live your life in agony. Some people might even go further and start blogging about their book’s reviews and you realize that too many people read Crime and Punishment!!!

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8.Robin Hood: 

This book earned its right fully to be here, there are so many adaptations to the famous folklore tale, animal Robin Hood, teenager Robin Hood, Robin Hood and his family, Robin Hood pre-Robin Hood, Robin Hood post-Robin Hood, and modern Robin Hood. So when a movie is made starring Square Face Russell Crowe, the movie doesn’t make as much money as you would expect. The story is beaten and Square Face is not the best fit for the role. Russell Crow, why couldn’t you stick to Gladiators…now that was a good movie and the end of your career!Therefore, some genius decided to turn the movie into a book. That’s right, they wrote the folklore in a script, made a movie out of it, then wrote a book based off that movie! the book as you would expect it to be, absolute trash, it is boring, it too descriptive and the plot is the same as the real Robin Hood. There is really nothing original in the book except the production details after the cover page.  Read that if you must buy and read the book! 

9. The Book Thief: 

The title of the book should tell us what it really is about, a thief who steals books, right? WRONG! it is about humanizing death and presenting it as a burnt out-slack and unpunctual employee. Instead of doing his actual work, he waltz around looking at colors, people and watching a little girl's life. He wastes so much time on one human life that he can give us details about the progress of her life. I am not sure why so many books normalize stalkers lately because Death, you are stalker! In fact, the title of the book should be "Stalking For Dummies"...oh wait, sorry that title is reserved for Twilight! besides, I am so sick of humanizing non-human entities, Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny are the end of that!

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10. The Da Vinici Code: 

Dan Brown’s New York Time Best Seller famous book. It is actually trash! but we shouldn't hold it against New York Times Best Seller because they had Twilight among that list too! The book combines so many genre in it that you don't even know where to place it in the shelf! There is psychology (Langdon's fear of elevator), 18+ (nude dead bodies), horror (Sophie's entire childhood), film making (the whole plot behind the Holy Grail) and math (the Da Vinici code, duh!) Goodreads often recommend this book to me ( I didn't dare admit to reading the book) and it calls it "an eye-opening" It is an eye-opening alright, your eyes will be widely open when you read all that pulpy, semi-historical but very controversial crap! Goodreads also calls it a "page-turning thriller", and that is very true, if you are a real bookworm, you will have that thrill of turning page after page hoping that the level of mystery will improve. Finally, you reach the last page and you realize that you wasted a few hours of your life and killed some brain cells! It is a quick read alright, tripping you over with big, fluffy words to slow you down like Louver and Sophie!!  

  image source: google images 

This is my list of ten books I think you should avoid reading, let me know in the comments what are your favorite books and what are some of the books you think I shouldn't waste my time on! Let me know what you liked about the post and what you didn't like! 

Adios!